Not the Victim

Colossians 1:22-23, "...he has brought you back as his friends. He has done this through his death on the cross in his own human body. As a result, he has brought you into the very presence of God, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. But you must continue to believe this truth and stand in it firmly. Don't drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News. The Good News has been preached all over the world, and I, Paul, have been appointed by God to proclaim it." 

Galatians 5:1,4, "So Christ has really set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law... For if you are trying to make yourselves right with God by keeping the law, you have been cut off from Christ! You have fallen away from God's grace."

I have spent months writing about what God has shown me.  As I read some of my writings, I realized that sometimes what I want to convey just isn’t there.  I hear in my head what I want to say and I know in my heart what I’m learning but it doesn’t always translate the way I would want.

God is working wonders in my life.  I am changing daily and growing stronger in Him but all of this started with God getting a hold of my heart and setting me back on solid ground. 

As I have gone through the past few years of my life, I have encountered many trials.  Some I have come through with great success while other times, I have fallen flat on my face.  I am not perfect, have never claimed to be, and have many flaws but that is where God steps in and begins to work.

When we fall into sin or experience a difficult trial, we reach a place where we cannot hold on any longer and we have to release control to God.  It is then that He begins to reveal our flaws and sinful ways.  He brings them to the surface.  Not to condemn but to correct and to make us more like Him.  It is a process but God has brought to light the areas of my life that are strongholds.  Areas that I need to work on in order to be more like Him and less like the world.  I am learning to surrender daily and remember my First Love.


The enemy is constantly attacking and condemning.  He is quick to remind me of my past and all of our failures.  He uses people around me to accuse and remind but I must not become distracted.  Those types of things take my focus off of God and the price that Christ paid for my sins.  When that happens my focus is placed back on myself, which leads me right back into sin.  The pattern is simple and easy to fall into and Satan knows this very thing. He has great success in this way.


Here is what I have learned.  I have made mistakes.  I have sinned.  I have repented of my sin. I have been forgiven of my sin.  I now choose to move forward, surrender my life to God and serve Him.


I have been through a lot.  I am not a victim.  I refuse to be the victim.  I do not want to be weak and will admit my failures. I am suffering consequences of my own choices as well as choices of others in my life but I am choosing to advance down the path that God has laid out before me.  I want to reflect THE light for others who have found themselves in a dark place.  I want to use my experiences to share with others what God has done in my life and what He can do in theirs as well.


From here forward, I want to be the friend that stays.  I have learned much over the course of my journey.  I have learned to love the unlovable.  Forgive the unforgiveable.  Cherish those that have done evil.  See those that are evil as children of God. Friends have failed me through my darkest days. They didn't understand my choices. They couldn’t endorse my actions. They chose to walk away, not physically but withdrew their availability to me and shut themselves up into a safe box where they were able to avoid my situation. It was painful and it still hurts but God is using it in my life.  He is teaching me to love and not condemn.  He is teaching me to speak the truth in love not in judgment.  He is teaching me to stay and be there when the world says walk away. He is teaching me to stay through the conflict.  To stay through the struggles.  To stay through the suffering.  To stay through the discomfort.  To stay through the misunderstandings.  He is beginning to weave His character into mine and I am becoming more like Him.


Because of His great love, His great mercy and His great forgiveness I am usable despite my failures.  That is how awesome and amazing God is and He offers it to everyone who comes to Him. 


There is no condemnation when Christ is within us.


“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ² because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you^[a] free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2